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Positive Affirmations for women can get a bad wrap sometimes. I remember thinking, “only a weak person would need those”. Ouch. But after my life spiraled into chaos that left me an utter mess. I realized the true power of positive affirmations. I never considered myself weak, and I don’t think your life needs to be a mess for you to benefit from affirmations. Heck, five years later and I am still using affirmations! Because I realized that they are the bomb diggity! (old reference, I know). But seriously. If you have never tried them, they will change. your. life.
Now what’s the difference between positive affirmations and positive affirmations for women? Positive Affirmations for women are specifically statements that focus on our unique differences and why they should be loved, not hated. As much as I love to brag on positive affirmations and as much as I suggest them (basically every blog post #sorrynotsorry) I do think there are some guidelines. Just like a blender won’t blend if it isn’t plugged in, affirmations require some things to work.
Affirmations Need To Solve A Problem
Affirmations are about redirecting how your brain associates certain things. When it comes to affirmations regarding self-confidence you are training your brain to associate yourself with good, strong beliefs, not the negative ones you’ve been having. The statements you make need to be rebutting a problem or disbelief you have of yourself. While it is nice to constantly say “I’m Awesome”, it doesn’t solve anything. It might lift your self confidence for a moment but it certainly won’t uproot any deep seeded beliefs you have about yourself.
Affirmations should be specific in what self-esteem issue they are attacking. Some positive affirmations for women might include: “I am worthy of love and respect”, “I am good enough”, “My body is incredibly strong, it’s ability to bend and stretch is beautiful and not something to be ashamed of”. These affirmations are not vague. They target big issues like self worth and positive body image.
Also, notice how some of those affirmations are short and others are long. I prefer short ones, because they are easy to remember. But longer affirmations are better at getting to root problems, like the idea that we might be ashamed of our stretch marks and other bodily “imperfections”. It is probably a good idea to have a healthy mix. I would keep shorter affirmations in your pocket for when you’re at work or somewhere and you need a positive reminder of what you should be thinking/feeling.
Affirmations Need To Be Present Tense
“I was capable” or “I will be capable” both leave you without the confidence, strength and mindset that you are capable in the moment. You aren’t trying to fix yourself later, you aren’t trying to say you were fixed but now you’re broken, you are saying you are fixed, beautiful, capable, strong, desirable NOW. Make sure your affirmations reflect this.
It is crucial that your affirmations be present tense. There is the power of life and death in your tongue (Proverbs 18:21). Outside of the biblical belief, when you say something enough times, you begin to believe it. And positive affirmations for women are all about trying to convince ourselves of the truth we keep denying ourselves.
This deck of cards is actually a deck of positive affirmations. They’re cute, are present tense and very uplifting. I always encourage you to write your own. But sometimes it’s nice to have affirmations that you might not have though of.
Affirmations Need To Be Consistently Used
Telling yourself that you are beautiful once in a blue moon won’t silence that inner voice that tells you, you’re ugly. You need to be consistent. Much like parenting a child, you need to parent that voice inside of you. No means no and you are beautiful means you are beautiful. Say it any and every time you think otherwise.
One way you can make sure you are consistent with your positive affirmations is to create a routine. For example, I used to put sticky notes all over my bathroom mirror with affirmations. And every morning when I woke up I would say them out loud while I brushed my teeth and my hair. Doing this every morning made it easier for me to remember the affirmations when a life event was causing me to have self-doubt and negative thoughts.
Another way to be consistent with your positive affirmations is to have them as your phone wallpaper. It isn’t any secret that we use our phones – a lot! So make that time as useful as possible. Pick your favorite positive affirmation, create a cute wallpaper using a service like Canva, and change that wallpaper! Have a different picture for your home vs your lock screen and change them weekly. This makes sure that you are seeing those positive messages as much as possible.
Write Them Down
In school we had to take notes on paper. Why? Because many believe that physically writing aids in memorization and critical thinking. (See this article written by Medical Daily) There’s just something about putting that pen to paper that sets us up for success more than typing does. So when you think of a great affirmation, make sure you write it down! Even if you put it in the memo notes section of your phone, when you get home write it on a sticky note and then put it somewhere you will read it.
Personally, I believe reading your affirmations in your own handwriting helps reinforce that you do in fact believe that wonderful thing about yourself. Which you should! Seeing those handwritten statements is like seeing a love letter from you to yourself! Maybe you have a hard time coming up with affirmations. These are some cute affirmation cards, to help you get on the right track. Even if you purchase positive affirmation cards, I suggest rewriting them in your handwriting somewhere. Even if it’s just in a small notebook you keep by your bed. It is important!
You Must Have The Desire To Believe Your Affirmations
Possibly the most important tip of them all is affirmations won’t work if you don’t truly want to believe them.
There is no use in trying to change your mindset if you are just going to argue against your own affirmations. You need to be committed and have the desire to change. You won’t change because someone else wants you to, you won’t change because you think you should, you won’t change because of anything I write or tell you. The only way you are going to see effective change in your mindset and self confidence is if YOU TRULY DESIRE to see it! Willpower is an incredible thing and makes all the difference.
Don’t argue against yourself. When you try to use an affirmation to combat a negative thought don’t comeback with “that’s stupid, what was I thinking”. I’ll tell you what you were thinking, you were thinking that you deserve to love yourself. You deserve to speak kindly to yourself and to feel worthy.
You need to learn to be your own cheerleader. No one is going to be there to help you as much as yourself. If you have trouble with this part, I encourage you to lean on God. God created you. He spent time and energy crafting your face, your body, your mind, your soul. He believes that you are a beautiful work of art, and how sad he must get when you hate yourself. I am sure that a prayer to him would be met with love and peace, that you are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).
Self sabotage is stoppable. It doesn’t have to be something you just deal with. It isn’t a cute quirky characteristic. Self sabotage is something awful that many of us do, and it is a bad habit you can correct. You need to stop it. Learn to find the willpower and self discipline to redirect yourself. To have the courage to continue on the path you’ve set.
Related: How To Activate Your Willpower